Wednesday, August 15, 2007

How Raymond Queneau Deals with Prose Block, an excersise

Sometimes it pays to be a smart ass rather than a smart person.

When Raymond Queneau had writer's block, he used a simple scenario:

A man walks onto a bus (the name of the bus is bus S) and sees a man with a long neck and a chord on his hat rather than a ribbon. This man is yelling at the other passengers on the bus.

Mr. Queneau would write a paragraph from the point of view of the man who walks onto the bus. He would write his observations with a different personality/view each paragraph. Here are some of mine:

THE ANGRIEST MAN IN THE WOLRD

After a stinking wait in the vile sun I finally got into a filthy bus where a bunch of bastards were squashed together. The most bastardly of these bastards was a pustular creature with a ridiculously long windpipe who was sporting a grotesque hat with a cord instead of a ribbon. This pretentious puppy started to create because an old bastard was pounding his plates with senile fury, but he soon climbed down and made off in the direction of an empty seat that was still damp with the sweat of the buttocks of its previous occupant.

THE MATHEMATICIAN

In a rectangular parallelepiped moving along a line representing an integral solution of the second-order differential equation:

Y'' + PPTB(x)y' + S = 84

Two homoids (of which only one, the homoid A, manifests a cylindrical element of length...

THE PHILOSOPHER

Great cities alone can provide phenomenological spirituality with the consequentialities of temporal and improbablistic coincidences. The philosopher who occasionally ascends into the futile and utilitarian existentialisms of an S bus can perceive therein with the lucidity of his pineal eye the transitory and faded appearance of a profane consciousness afflicted by the long neck of vanity and the hatly plait of ignorance.

THE JAPANESE POET

Summer S long neck
plait hat toes abuse retreat
station button friend

anywaaaay, once you have all these characters, you can write a few thousand pages of their interactions, thus making writer's block obsolete forever.

In other news, if anyone is going to read War and Peace be sure and read the Rosemary Edmonds translation, because all the others suck.

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